I am a newly minted 30-something from Chicago living in Jennings, FL with my two dogs and two horses. I am a nursing student and aspiring author who is passionate about mental health, nursing and medical science, nutrition, animals, faith, life lessons, and living life to the fullest. I believe in breaking free, in stepping into the light, and then letting your own light shine so that others may be able to find their way out of the darkness. I want people to know that they matter, and that their life means something. I enjoy kicking elephants out of rooms, filling empty seats, and breathing life into impossible dreams. There is hope, help, and healing available. And Jesus is still in the business of redemption!
I have been fully recovered for 9 years from a long battle with anorexia, bulimia, depression, and borderline personality disorder. I know what it’s like to want to die, and even to go so far as to try and take my own life. I know what it’s like to seek escape from flashbacks at the bottom of a bottle of alcohol. I know what it’s like to be in the middle of a panic attack and feel like your chest might just explode. I know what it’s like to feel so much pain inside that colors turn gray and sleeping the days away seems like the best chance to get through them from start to finish. And the thing is, my story- pain, hopelessness, shame- is not unique, it’s universal. It is part of the human experience.
Pain can be overcome. Pain can subside. Pain can be replaced by joy.
Pain can have purpose.
So sometimes I write about it. Because human connection is made when we are genuine. Hope is found when we expose our humanity, banish the sugarcoating, and just reach out in raw honesty. We don’t help anyone by pretending we “have it all together” our entire lives.
Because of my experience I try and do my small part in fighting the stigma of mental illness and spreading awareness. What you’ll find among the pages of this blog site are thoughts and reflections of just one voice among over 7 billion, just hoping that if someday, somewhere, someone could benefit from something said here- that it may find them.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”